I have been feeling quite unsettled this past month. It is because of my anxiety around working on "Inside the Dress," and the death of a dear friend. Valerie Marshall died on January 4 after a long illness. I want to tell you about Valerie because I believe she truly represents what this project is about.

I met Valerie when I went to work at a centre for handicapped children in 1978. Valerie was employed at the centre but she didn't have any clear responsibilities. You see Valerie had cerebral palsy. She was also severely hearing impaired.

She had been hired as a kindness but with no real expectation that she would be a contributing employee. It became my task to develop a position for her. She proved to be a dedicated worker. Her performance surpassed everyone's expectations. What I came to understand was that Valerie was a treasure.

I learned that Valerie was a person of considerable substance. No one would ever have guessed that from just looking at her. She possessed many abilities that were not immediately apparent.

In spite of the obstacles in her life, or perhaps because of them, Valerie possessed a beautiful spirit. She was thoughtful and caring. In the face of pain and illness, Valerie displayed remarkable determination and resilience. She accepted her life and her death with grace and dignity. She was a wonderful friend and a remarkable person. She had dreams and aspirations. She loved to travel. She was funny and wise.

At first I did not view Valerie as my friend but rather as someone I helped and supported. However, over time I came to value her as a dear friend. I learned to see Valerie as a woman, not a disabled person.

Valerie's death has been the catalyst for my thinking about the qualities that I possess that might not be readily apparent. I am sure there are interesting things that others often fail to imagine about me. It seems a two-sided issue - I don't necessarily reveal and others don't take time to find out. We collude to keep ourselves separate by not sharing our personal stories.

I have come to believe that we all have interesting and valuable stories to tell. Learning about another person's story is a wonderful way to connect. Perhaps the essential quality of the "Inside the Dress" project is story telling. I feel a new sense of commitment to tell my stories so that others might know me.

As I learned Valerie's stories it became clear to me that she was a woman to be admired and cherished. Knowing her enriched my life. Now as I return to my studio each day I shall hold the memory of Valerie, my friend who was the essence of beauty, resilience and grace. I shall miss her.