Last month we had the pleasure of attending the book launch for Big Enough Dreams edited by Debbie Marshall. The book is was a project of the Edmonton Learning Community.

The Edmonton Learning Community is a network of self-advocates, parents, service providers, government employees and educators interested in promoting positive images of people with developmental disabilities. They believe that all people have strengths, skills and gifts that contribute to the vitality of our communities.

A year ago Gary was invited to write a chapter for the book about adults with developmental disabilities. His assignment was to describe the life of a person with a developmental disability. The intent was to depict the value of a person that might otherwise be disregarded or dismissed in society.

The young woman Gary was assigned to interview and write about is blind, non-verbal and very physically handicapped. At first he was uncertain how to proceed. However, he quickly learned how important she is in the lives of her family and friends. He also learned that she is an active participant in her own life. It became clear that Michelle is indeed a person of value and importance.

As Gary developed the strategies for writing a chapter that would accurately describe Michelle we had many discussions about the value of a life. We were clear that intelligence, success, wealth and possessions were not the essential elements that constitute personal value. Was it kindness, love or connection? Was it existence itself?

A situation from my past came to mind when I thought about Gary’s writing experience. My friend Phillip began kindergarten with me in 1949. I knew he was deaf because he wore big clunky hearing aids with a receiver strapped to his chest. I knew he didn’t speak well. I knew that he couldn’t run like the other kids and he had difficulty with one arm, but I didn’t know there was anything wrong with him. I played with Phillip often and always enjoyed being with him. He was kind.

Phillip continued to be in my class until one day in second grade. We were told that he would not be returning to school. I remember asking my mother why Phillip wasn’t coming to school anymore. I knew his family had not moved. My mother said that Phillip couldn’t go to our school because he couldn’t keep up. I remember thinking that if you just waited for him he would always catch up.

My heart hurts thinking about Phillip. I wonder what became of him. Did he spend his entire life in an institution? Were there kind people in his life who could appreciate his skills and talents. I have thought about how lucky Michelle is to have excellent caregivers and a caring family. I know that Phillip had a caring family too.

I wonder what happened to Phillip’s dreams. Although I won’t know the answer to that puzzle I have decided to be more curious about the lives of others. I am grateful to the Edmonton Learning Community and Debbie Marshall for inviting Gary to write a chapter in the book. It has been a gift to me.

© C O P Y R I G H T   2 0 0 6.  Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.