When Gary and I were married in 1972, Karen Carpenter was singing "We've Only Just Begun." It all seemed so perfect and so true. It seemed that with a kiss for luck we were indeed on our way to an ideal life. Mercifully I would not have predicted that our relationship could not possibly live up to my expectations. That is the way of romance.

" W E ' V E  O N L Y  J U S T
B E G U N ,  W H I T E  L A C E
A N D  P R O M I S E S
A  K I S S  F O R  L U C K
A N D  W E ' R E  O N
O U R  W A Y "
The Carpenters




" M A K I N G  A  D E C I S I O N
I S  A  C O M M I TM E N T .
I T  A L W A Y S  I N V O L V E S
T H E  R I S K  O F
F A I L U R E "
Ernest Keen




" L O V E  I S  H I G H
I N D U C E M E N T  T O
T H E  I N D I V I D U A L  T O
R I P E N ,  T O  B E C O M E
W H O L E ,  T O  B E C O M E
W H O L E  F O R  H I M S E L F
A N D  A N O T H E R ' S  S A K E ,
I T  I S  A  G R E A T
E X C I T I N G  C L A I M
U P O N  H I M ,
S O M E T H I N G  T H A T
C H O O S E S  H I M  O U T  A N D
C A L L S  H I M  T O
V A S T  T H I N G S "
Ranier Maria Rilke




" T H E  F I R S T  D U T Y
O F  L O V E
I S  T O
L I S T E N "
Paul Tillich





" L O V E R S  D O N ' T
F I N A L L Y  M E E T
S O M E W H E R E .
T H E Y  A R E  I N
E A C H  O T H E R
A L L  A L O N G "
Rumi




" T H E R E  I S  N O
E N L I G H T E N M E N T
O U T S I D E  O F
D A I L Y  L I F E "
Thich Nhat Hanh

In fact, our relationship has developed into something far richer than my early romantic view. We have lived through illnesses and deaths, disappointments and sorrows, as well as the all the pleasures of an enduring relationship. We have worked hard to arrive at a place of ease with one another and our circumstances.

Recently we celebrated our thirty-first wedding anniversary. We marked the occasion by spending a luxurious day together. In between visiting the Edmonton Art Gallery and having lunch we reflected on our commitment to ourselves, to each other and to our relationship.

So what exactly is commitment? For us I think it is dedication to common purposes, a willingness to grow and learn, faith and courage in difficult situations and adaptability. It implies focused attention and hard work.

All enduring relationships go through many phases. Ironically, it is often the most difficult situations that serve to strengthen relationships. In our case it was catastrophic illnesses that moved us from a hard working couple to a deeper, fuller commitment to each other and our relationship.

We had the pleasure of witnessing the marriage of our beloved friends Dale and Suzanne Partridge a few weeks ago. On that day we joined with family and friends to honour their commitment to each other and their relationship. And although the day was filled with romance and beauty, I could not help but think that they enter this partnership with wisdom and understanding of what commitment truly is. I wish for them many years of pleasure in each other's company.

In my first solo exhibition I described my experience with cancer. In it there was a piece entitled "A Piece of Work" that recounted the history of our relationship. It consisted of many layers and the outer layers contained our renewed pledges to one another. Here are those vows:

"I am your loving partner for life. My love for you has been the guiding light in the darkest of night. I promise to be open and intimate in our lives. I wish to grow old with you nourished by good sense and nonsense."		"I am your partner, lover, friend and companion. My loving for you has endured through hardship and challenges. I promise to remain open to you and to continue to seek a deeper intimacy throughout our lives. It is my wish to grow old with you by my side."
GEH		MSH

From 1972 until now we have had many experiences. We have grown in our love and appreciation of one another. Through good times and bad we have maintained our commitment. I celebrate my relationship. I wouldn't have missed a minute of it and it still seems that we have only just begun!