What should we do in the face of difficult circumstances? How is it possible to cope with serious illness, death or deceit? At a time when you may feel most alone, what do you do? How do you cope with the inevitable pain and upset of life?

Recently I have experienced several frights, losses and upsets. Although the events did not happen directly to me, they happened to people I care about. They have shaken me. I know that part of my upset is seated in my deep caring for my friends and family members and part of it is the reminder of my own mortality.

I am a great person to have around in a crisis. I generally stay calm and focused. However, while I am glad I have this ability and I offer it willingly, there is always a cost to me. Usually it is manifested as sadness, fatigue and/or unexpected tears. When that happens I need to take a step back and remember my commitment to cherish each moment of my life.

Many years ago as I was diagnosed with breast cancer I did not know if I would survive. Eventually I realized that no one knows how long he or she will live. I made an active choice to live each day regardless of the number of days given to me. I began to teach myself to cherish each moment. Though I am not always successful, it remains my goal.

Choosing life is an active process for me. I wake each morning and give thanks for the day ahead whatever it may hold. I set an intention for my day and I begin.

Often my day unfolds differently than I imagined. That was the case recently when my friend Wendy phoned at 7:00 am to tell me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Nor was it the case when I opened my e-mail to find a message from my sister-in-law saying my brother Bob had been hospitalized with serious heart problems.

In each case I recognized that I was fearful at first. As I calmed myself I moved to a place of gratitude. I remembered that I am lucky to have these two wonderful people in my life. I settled myself and offered my support.

I am happy to report that Wendy is recovering well. I expect her to dance her way to health. I see in her a new optimism. I believe she is choosing to live each day.

Similarly, Bob entered cardiac rehabilitation with gusto. He has a renewed sense of health and well-being. He has said many times that he sees his illness and surgery as the best possible outcome. He can now look forward to a more active and engaging life.

As for me I have made a new commitment to living each moment of my life as fully as possible. I am grateful for all of my life – the good, the bad, the mundane. I plan to cherish every moment.

© C O P Y R I G H T   2 0 0 7.  Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.