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" S T A R T I N G O U T I N A
N E W D I R E C T I O N
R E Q U I R E S F A I T H .
F A I T H I S K N O W I N G
T H A T W E A R E N O T L O S T
E V E N W H E N T H E R E
A R E N O E X T E R N A L S I G N S
T O T E L L U S W H E R E A N D
H O W W E S H O U L D
P R O C E E D "
Peter
London
" I F Y O U A R E G O N
N A
W A L K O N T H I N I C E ,
Y O U M I G H T A S W E L L
D A N C E "
Jesse
Winchester
" T H E R E A L W O R L D
D O E S N O T C O N F O R M
T O O U R E X P E C T A T I O N S
A N D P R E D I C T I O N S "
Peter
London
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Feeling safe can probably be distilled down to an innate survival instinct.
It is an essential state when there are risks to our physical and emotional
well-being. Increased vigilance is very important in those circumstances
as a way of staying safe.
Safety on an "everyday" basis probably has more to do with our comfort
at being seen for who we are. Mary and I have friends we see, maybe
once or twice a year, at most. As soon as we walk in their door we both
experience an instant feeling of comfort. That is because we know we
can just be ourselves with them.
Otherwise, I can "disguise" myself in some way with people that I do
not know well. I am vigilant about what I say or do. I don't want to
"blow my cover" by showing off the real me at the risk of being judged
negatively.
Vigilance, in that case, can be quite limiting. The assumption is that
we will not be liked for who we are so we should be someone else. Ironically,
others may not really care all that much for our disguise.
Creating safety is about using vigilance well. It is the way to maintain
the balance between security and risk. We don't step forward in life
in an indiscriminate way. Uncalculated risk is foolhardy. Not everyone
is interested in knowing the "real" us. Nor are we interested in being
known by everyone.
Hyper vigilance is a focus on feeling safe. It narrows our vision to
be watchful for only the negative. E. Langer (The Power of Mindful Learning)
encourages "soft" vigilance. Soft vigilance refers to broader attention
to our surroundings in order to become more aware of the positive things
we can enjoy while also noticing and averting a greater range of perils.
I have been a cyclist for many years. Until recently, I rode a conventional
bike. My hunched position over the handlebars afforded me a view primarily
of the road directly in front of me. It was great for avoiding potholes
and other road surface hazards.
I have switched to a recumbent in recent years. I sit upright on the
seat with my feet elevated to pedals that are out in front of me. I
am amazed to notice the panorama of enjoyable scenery that I have missed
while riding my conventional bike with my head down. I also realize
that I am in a better position to see oncoming cars, pedestrians and
other assorted cyclist perils, as well as upcoming road surface hazards.
So creating safety is about making space to risk having new and enjoyable
experiences. Every new experience also informs us about how to keep
ourselves safe as we become increasingly "streetwise" in our personal
journey.
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