We are converting our workshop session room downstairs back into its original function as a family room. It will include a sitting area for watching TV and reading in an ambience of coziness facilitated by an electric fireplace. This follows an evolution in our business of bringing our in-house workshops to a close in favor of other interests.

It has been a co-creative effort between Mary and me to talk about the design of the room and to shop carefully for the most appropriate items to furnish what is a relatively small space that is also intended to accommodate an arts and crafts working area at one end. Luckily, we have been able to use existing furnishings in our house for the best cost efficiency.

We did, however, purchase a futon for the combined functions of a couch and also as a bed for guest room space extra to our downstairs guest room. This will allow each of our granddaughters a real bed in a separate and private space rather than one in a bed and the other on a mat. This apparent equality will hopefully reduce negotiations for who is going to sleep where.

We visited several businesses that stocked futons, keeping in mind a brand and style that we had identified as our preference. We have lived in Canada for years and have both become Canadian citizens. We wanted to be sure we purchased in a Made in Canada product as a responsible expression of being good citizens.

“This one is not made in Canada,” one salesperson said, and then with extra emphasis, “It is made in a land far away, far away from Canada,” as in, you get my drift, right?

“If something goes wrong, returning it is very difficult,” he continued.

Being not only good citizens but good consumers, we decided to move on to another store to see what else was available.

“Is it made in Canada?” we asked another salesperson.

“Well, no,” he said, without any further elaboration.

“Where then?” we pressed.

“It is made overseas, not in Canada,” he replied after several moments of what seemed to be uncomfortable hesitation.

Along with being good citizens and consumers, we are also pretty quick. The significance of his replies did not escape us. We were dealing with a land where something indeed has gone wrong with products.

It was clearly not good business to be identifying that land of origin for items in store inventory. It was like “He who shall not be named” in the Harry Potter adventures in reference to an ominous story character.

We finally found exactly what we wanted in another store. Yes, the mattress was made right in Edmonton, Alberta and yes, the frame could be ordered from Vancouver, as in Canada. We were very pleased and congratulated ourselves for having patiently pursued the process until we arrived at a satisfying purchase.

We did not stop to think beyond Vancouver being in Canada. It is also a major seaport. Shipments arrive from overseas, far away from Canada.

“Made in…” the country that shall not be named was printed clearly on the sides of the boxes of this ready-to-assemble furniture. We consoled ourselves with knowing that at least the mattress was made in Alberta and we had been informed of all the materials used in the construction.

I am experienced with ready-to-assemble furniture originating from another land far away, namely Sweden. With just a little patience and finesse, IKEA furniture can be assembled with a minimum of frustration provided that the enclosed detailed instructions are carefully followed.

The current enclosed instructions I discovered by accident, tucked underneath the seat platform. They consisted of three briefly described steps, written in English as a second language. Less is not more when it comes to instructions for ready-to-assemble furniture and clearly there was some critical detail lost in translation.

After over four hours, I was still unsuccessful in completing Step 1. Past experience says 15 minutes tops. I was thinking that the required tool list should have included an axe and a fire pit. I called the store to vent my frustration and was invited to bring in the pieces to see if they would have to be returned.

The store owner fiddled and jiggled the pieces for an hour and finally Step 1 was complete. She gave me a triumphant smile as if to say, if I can do this in only one hour, there is no reason you can’t do it in four. That was apparently an easier solution than returning the pieces.

The problem, of course, was that it had to be disassembled to get the pieces back in my car. Great, I was getting a second chance at trying to complete Step 1 in four hours.

I fiddled and jiggled the pieces, aware that the store owner’s record setting, one hour assembly had slipped by without any identifiable success. Over and over I slipped bolts through pre-drilled holes that continually failed to line up with barrel nuts at the termination points of the holes on four corners in the base of the frame.

I was obsessed now on completing the assembly knowing that there was a fiddle or a jiggle that would do the trick, but happening upon the right fiddle or jiggle by chance through continued trial and error was the real trick. A simple clue would have helped.

Step away from it, I said to my self, falling back on the “sleep on it and get a fresh start in the morning” plan. I know that approaching a challenge as soon as you wake up takes advantage of unconscious problem solving during sleep and an open mind before it gets confounded by the events of the day.

Sure enough, I discovered the missing clue almost immediately. It goes like this.

There are two pre-drilled holes connecting the pieces at each corner of the base of the frame. You insert one bolt through a pre-drilled hole until it appears in the space normally occupied by the barrel nut without inserting the barrel nut.

You use that bolt as a visual guide for lining up the second bolt with its corresponding barrel nut. Once one bolt is secure, you withdraw the first bolt until the barrel nut can be inserted. It will be in line with the bolt. The bolt is screwed into barrel nut. Repeat on each of the four corners.

The frame quickly came together in under 15 minutes as it should have. I wonder if the person who wrote the assembly instructions ever actually assembled the item. That person probably did not have an eight hour day to spare in order to discover the clue necessary for reasonable success. That unfortunately was left to the patience and creativity of the consumer in a land far, far away.

© C O P Y R I G H T   2 0 0 8.  Gary Holdgrafer ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.