My sister-in-law, Dolores Holdgrafer Jackson died on April 30, 2011. To honour Dolores I decided to write an open letter containing some of the things I admired about her. I am pleased to say that I was able to say most of these things directly to Dolores when we visited her before her death.

Dear Dolores,
It seems almost impossible that I have known you for 39 years. I have such a strong memory of when we visited you after our wedding in 1972. You  welcomed me warmly. I remember thinking that I wished I could be so at ease. That warmth and acceptance never wavered throughout the years.

I thought you were a most wonderful and accepting mother. You seemed to be able to see each of your children as a unique individual. I never had the sense that you wanted them to be anything other than who they were. Now that doesn't mean that you didn't have expectations and I am sure that you had hopes and dreams for each of them. As I look at your adult children I think you must be very proud of them. I know I am.

We shared a devotion to our grandchildren. I often say that being a grandmother is the best job I ever had. I know you felt the same. I loved seeing you with your grandkids. I know they adored you. Your influence has helped to mould them and will sustain them throughout their lives.

It was always such a pleasure to share an interest in early childhood development and early intervention with you. I know you delighted in your work with young children and their families. I only recently learned what an impact you had on the team you worked with. Your colleagues loved, admired and respected you. It was so touching to meet some of them and see how much they cared for you.

You are so loved by your brothers. They are not effusive in their words but I know that you understand the depth of their caring for you. As the only girl in your family you held a special place. You and Ron and Gary seemed to have a particular bond because you were close in age. Of course you all benefitted from the extraordinary guidance of your older brother Delmar.

There were sorrows and disappointments in your life as there are in all our lives. However, I saw how you were constantly guided by your faith. I marvel at the depth and purity of your devotion. I know that your faith made the grace you displayed in accepting your illness possible. I envy your commitment to your faith.

There will never be enough time with those we love. I treasure the time we had together. I will carry you in my heart always. I am so proud to call you my sister
.