Do you recall the last time you had an experience that gave you a really good feeling, perhaps a warm glow or some other pleasant altered state and an intuitive insight about how you would really like to be most of the time? The experience might range from an extended holiday to a brief, fleeting moment in the midst of a busy day.

" L I F E  S H R I N K S
O R  E X P A N D S
I N  P R O P O R T I O N  T O
O N E ' S   C O U R A G E "
A. Nin

" S P A C E  I S  T H E
I N F I N I T E  D E I T Y
W H I C H  S U R R O U N D S
U S  A N D  I N  W H I C H
W E  A R E
O U R S E L V E S
C O N T A I N E D "
Max Beckmann





" T H R O W  O P E N
Y O U R  W I N D O W
A N D  L E T  T H E
S C E N E R Y  O F  C L O U D S
A N D  S K Y
E N T E R
Y O U R  R O O M "
Yosa Buson

Do you notice how quickly it all evaporates as soon as you return to the daily grind? There are probably many explanations for this. The one of interest to me currently has to do with containment (J. Rosenberg and M. Rand-Body, Self and Soul). Containment is the ability to hold that sense of well being rather than losing it to the old familiar tiresome patterns.

Containment requires making space for the less familiar and often the more personally pleasing. If we fill ourselves with what we are more accustomed to feeling and thinking then there is no room for anything new or different. The less familiar feelings and insights that are the benefits of experiences will only be temporary.

The challenge is to develop "benefits permanence" so they are held in memory and can be accessed after the related experience is long over. We have to be "saved" (Rabbi Z. Schachter-Shalom, Spiritual Eldering Institute) but in the computer sense of that word. Sorry, no hallelujahs here!

How can we begin to do that? Our accustomed patterns of thinking and feeling can be viewed as "defaults". They are what we do automatically when we are not conscious of making new or different choices. We can notice our default patterns and become more aware of when we are engaging in them. More awareness leads to being less automatic and space is then created through the availability of choices.

Choices can come from our "magic moments". It is important to take the time to notice and absorb or "save" the feelings and thoughts that occur when we see and experience life in a different way. They are alternatives to our default patterns and can easily be erased by the differential in strength. They are often largely unexplored and undernourished aspects of our selves that reflect our fuller capacity as containers.

As containers, we can range from being contracted and protective to being expanded and explorative. Both are useful states. Having the flexibility to contract and expand is important. Sometimes we need to be protective and other times explorative. In particular, expansion allows us to make space to hold and integrate new learning.

Often, discomfort with the uncertain, the unknown and the less familiar can keep us stuck in a state of contraction or protectiveness. Like the agoraphobic, we confine ourselves to a small amount of space because exploration into anything larger is too frightening.

Expansion is perhaps best done is small steps, venturing slowly out from behind the closed door, and gently pushing on the boundaries that we use to define ourselves. Expansion is inevitable with every new experience. The rubber band that has been stretched never returns to its original state. As Alice (in Wonderland) so wisely observed, "why worry about yesterday, you were a different person then". Every lived moment is another experience that will alter us ever so slightly.

The shifts we make most often are quite subtle and easy to overlook (and not save). Switching our default demands close "attention to delicate nuances of thought and listening for the faint whispers of shy inner voices" (M. Gelb-Thinking Like Leonardo di Vinci) that ironically can be very powerful messages about our potential.