I recently came across the coined word “catagenesis.” It means the rebirth of an individual after a catastrophic experience. It is the ultimate in resilience, in not only surviving but also in thriving in the aftermath of, and as the result of an experience that could otherwise be very destructive.

Surviving and thriving, as the result of a catastrophe, is a wonderful and courageous thing. I would not, however, wish a catastrophe on anyone. I do think it is helpful to live a life that requires daily resourcefulness in order to birth and nurture personal qualities that might not otherwise ever come to awareness.

Many challenges come our way without invitation. They range from the stresses of daily life to more life impacting events. They quite naturally lead to an emotional upsets, a feeling of losing control, falling apart or fragmenting that is painful to endure.

This is often the basis for unhealthy coping, ways of escaping or avoiding that painful feeling by numbing it and regaining an illusion of control. Our most foreground example is eating disorders. We see people use food, or lack of it, as a coping mechanism for emotional upset and pain and encourage healthier choices.

A price of escape or avoidance is not staying in the emotional upset long enough to discover those important personal qualities that are important resources allowing us an opportunity to grow in and out of the upset. They are the resources that allow us to become stronger and more resilient in the face of future challenges.

We can also take on daily challenges as a matter of choice. How often each day, I ask, do I engage a challenge that calls upon me to be creative, inventive or adaptive in ways I have never considered before, otherwise never being discovered, simply languishing in the idleness and the rigidity of living life habitually and unimaginatively.

Those deeper qualities are in the form of human potential and can become pleasurable surprises when realized in the clever management of challenging experiences. Everyone could do something everyday that they deem to be clever in problem solving. Being clever requires resourcefulness.

Self-discovery in these moments of resourcefulness is the stuff of nostalgia. The pain of challenging experiences is soothed by the pleasure of remembering what we were able to accomplish and brings with it a feeling of satisfaction, and even gratitude, for having had the experience. Self-discovery is the gift that is often wrapped in discomfort and we never know what is in the package when we go to open it. And there is no exchanging it because it is truly ours.

It is an acquired taste that can become an irresistible and anxious curiousity at what we will find out about ourselves. There is a tipping point of becoming committed to the process when the benefits of personal learning trump the potential embarrassment of self-discovery in the form of a richer and more interesting life.