"I  W A S -
A N D  I  S T I L L  A M - -
I N A R T I C U L A T E  I N
M Y  R E A L  L I F E."
Janice Rule

"W H A T  I S  M Y  I D E N T I T Y?
T H I S  Q U E S T I O N
P R O D U C E S  A  K I N D  O F
C R I S I S  I N  M Y  T H I N K I N G
A B O U T  M Y  P A I N T I N G
A N D  M Y S E L F."
Gunther Gerzso

"W E  C H A N G E  O U R
O P I N I O N S  O F
O U R S E L V E S  S O  O F T E N.
W H A T  T H E  O U T S I D E
W O R L D  T H I N K S
I S  O N L Y  A  S M A L L
P A R T  O F  O U R
I M A G E."
Carly Simon

When I feel strongly about something I often have a sense of inarticulateness. I can't seem to find the right words to express my deepest feelings. As I began to describe what my final work means to me I could not find the words. It is not that I lacked thought or feeling. Rather, I was overcome with them. How could I ever describe the layers of meaning I can see in my work?

As I chatted with my dear friend and colleague Wendy Huntington about my dilemma I was filled with emotion. If I could not explain this to her how could I ever write a statement that strangers might understand?

Wendy encouraged me to talk about my feelings. With some shyness I began to talk about the multiple meanings in my work. As is always the case some of the meanings I intended and some I have discovered along the way.

I began this project with an intention to have a careful look at who I am. Along the way Martha Cole suggested asking others for their insights. With that information the project became a rich comparison of how I see myself and how others see me. Recently I have shifted my focus to what I do not reveal and why.

With Wendy's help I began to reframe my question. She asked me to accept that I am an open and personally revealing individual and that it is appropriate for me to keep some things private. She suggested that there is something attractive and intriguing about those unknown parts of me. She even went so far as to suggest a level of sophistication in the unknown and an appealing "come hither" quality.

Wendy offered words for me to consider: incandescent, luminous, and translucent. I went to The American Heritage Dictionary. Here is what I found:

Incandescent - 1. Emitting visible light as a result of being heated.
2. Shining brilliantly, very bright. 3. Characterized by ardent emotion, intensity or brilliance.
Luminous - 1. Emitting light, especially self-generated light. 2. Full of light; illuminated. 3a. Easily comprehended; clear. 3b. Enlightened and intelligent; inspiring.
Translucent - 1. Transmitting light but causing sufficient diffusion to prevent perception of distinct images. 2. Clear, lucid.

I spent several days pondering these definitions. Each hinted at the "something" I could not describe. I particularly liked the definition of translucent. It seemed to suggest the aspects of myself that I had no words for.

I settled knowing that I was beginning to find the words. Once again I had a sense of a growing acceptance of all of who I am. I am completing, filling out, expanding. I am willing to grapple with my own inarticulateness. Strange as it may seem I love the discomfort. It is how I grow as a person and an artist. I realize that I have tapped into a new, deeper layer. I am now addressing issues that I have kept hidden. No wonder I don't have the words to describe this process!

Here is my first effort at a brief artist's statement for Inside the Dress:

What is revealed, what is hidden, what is suggested? How I view myself and how others see me became the predominant themes for my project. On the exterior of the garment I created I have suggested a public persona. I combined my own interpretations with the perceptions of close friends to arrive at an external view of myself. However, the lining reveals those aspects of myself that I keep most private. Perhaps this is a first step in sharing more of my deepest experiences. I have called it Translucence.



The project is entitled, "Inside the Dress." It is a process that will culminate in an exhibition at the McMullen Gallery this year. My colleagues, Jean Brandel, Judy Villett and Jayne Willoughby-Scott and I conceived the idea as a means of creating an opportunity to work deeply. The process is taking more than a year to complete. We envision the result of collective personal work will be a remarkable exhibition.