" I  W I L L  R E M A I N  M Y
I D E A L  A G E  I N S I D E ,
O L D  E N O U G H  T O
M A N A G E  M Y  A F F A I R S,
Y O U N G  E N O U G H  T O
W O R K  W I L D L Y  A N D
P A S S I O N A T E L Y."
Eric Maisel

" T O  W I N  T H E  R E S P E C T
O F  I N T E L L I G E N T  P E O P L E
A N D  T H E  A F F E C T I O N  O F
C H I L D R E N -  T H I S  I S
T O  H A V E  S U C C E E D E D."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being of a "certain age" means that we have the wisdom that comes from connecting the dots that are our life experiences. That wisdom is reflected in words like "sage", "elder" and "mentor". Those words reflect our responsibility to be in support of people close to us who are suffering the misfortunes of youth.

This is an age for re-framing age, a paradigm shift toward the concept of sage-ing where elder wisdom is respected within intergenerational relationships. Mary and I are particularly committed to being a steadfast presence in the lives of our young grandchildren.

Mentoring young children, or anyone for that matter, is about helping them to make sense of their own experiences. So it is important to see things from their perspective before offering our own. My four-year-old granddaughter asked me, "What is a totem pole, Grandpa?" from her car seat behind me as I was driving. I thoughtfully constructed a simple answer about physical and symbolic aspects of totem poles that I was sure would make sense to her.

"Is that all you know?" she answered in a dissatisfied tone. My Resume was obviously of no use to me here. I realized I had cleanly missed the mark on the wisdom she was seeking. In that moment of crushing humility I quickly deconstructed the event to see where I had gone wrong.

Prior to her question, she had announced, "I am part Canadian and part Indian, Grandpa". I realized that these cultural distinctions are emerging in her consciousness as she experiences both cultures. I think she was, in that precious moment, puzzling what it means to be of mixed heritage.

She was clearly not interested in my simplified encyclopedic version of a totem pole. I believe she wanted to know if and how a totem pole was important for her as a "part Indian". She was seeking my help in connecting a dot.

It would have been easy enough for me verify my "in hind sight" interpretation of her experience. I could have said something like, "sounds like you are thinking about being Canadian and Indian right now. And you want to know about totem poles?" I know from past experience, that if I acknowledge her in that way, and then sit and wait, she will usually say more that will clarify her intent for me.

I was not a mentor, elder or sage in that moment. I had simply assumed what she wanted to hear, or more to the point, that she wanted to hear what I had to say. Clearly, I was wrong on both counts. Guided by her intention, we would have traveled a different and more interesting path together. A lesson learned from a four year old. I am now a wiser person.