Mary and I have a number of routines we follow that give our lives structure in our busy-ness. They fall into what we consider self-care. We chat each morning over coffee, have a yoghurt and fruit breakfast and then play two games of energizing double solitaire. We often walk with the dog sometime during the day.

" Y O U  M A Y  H A V E  H A B I T S
T H A T  W E A K E N  Y O U .
T H E  S E C R E T
 T O  M A K I N G  A  S H I F T
I S  T O  F O C U S  Y O U R
E N E R G Y  O N  B U I L D I N G
T H E  N E W
 I N S T E A D  O F
F I G H T I N G  T H E  O L D. "
Socrates












" S I M P L E  P L E A S U R E S
A R E  T H E  L A S T  R E F U G E
O F  T H E  C O M P L E X. "
Oscar Wilde














" W E  C A N N O T  C H A N G E
T H E  D I R E C T I O N  O F
T H E  W I N D ,
B U T  W E  C A N
A D J U S T  O U R
S A I L S. "
Unknown

These routines become disrupted periodically because of scheduling conflicts. However, in our lives, we assign permanent status to them and temporary status to the disruptions. Otherwise, we would probably never return to our routines if we allowed disruptions to have the permanent status.

In our work with people, we often hear intentions stated about practising self-care. Yes, they say, I am going to start taking better care of myself and, in fact, they do so for a short time until the first disruption. The self-care practise then becomes a brief, temporary event in their lives that they remember somewhat longingly but rarely ever repeat. Disruption becomes the more prominent and permanent quality of their lives.

We have been there and done that, and sometimes still do. However, we have challenged ourselves to make our self-care routines permanent by focusing our intention on returning to them after disruption and exerting our will to do so.

How to do that? Start by accepting disruption of self-care routines as a normal aspect of life, rather than becoming immediately discouraged and giving up when things don't go according to plan. And don't let disruptions be a convenient excuse. We often say to each other up front, that it looks like we are not going to be able to do our routines as planned. So we commit to returning to them as soon as we can.

Or we ask what we can do to maintain the permanent status of the routines within the limits imposed by the temporary disruption? It sometimes means some creative modification of the routines rather than giving them up completely. We find that we are able to stay more grounded during the disruption by maintaining some semblance of the self-care routines.

We find that self-care routines increase in value for us each time we invest in them. They are like stocks we hold in our selves so each time we buy in, we increase our own sense of personal value. Valuing our selves is at the core of making self-care routines increasingly resistant to disruption.

Routines have a comforting quality to them. They are dependable. That is important in the uncertainty and confusion that are unavoidable in life. Mary and I sometimes admit to thinking we are pretty boring people because routines are usually far less exciting than disruptions. Hmmm . . . a reason why people make disruptions more permanent!

Ironically, making self-care routines permanent requires little real time for significant grounding benefits for the rest of the day. They are a way of dropping anchor into the calm and quiet depths of the water while the boat you are in is rocking on the surface waves.