In his essay this month Gary wrote about developing a sufficient sense of safety to move forward in life. While I agree that safety is an essential element I also recognize that sometimes anxiety persists even when there are no real safety issues at hand. In those moments it seems necessary to step forward despite discomfort and uncertainties. It requires a leap of faith and recognition that the important things we choose to do will not necessarily be easy.

" T E A C H  U S  T O  P U T
I N T O  A C T I O N  O U R
B E T T E R  I M P U L S E S ,
S T R A T I G H T F O R W A R D
A N D  U N A F R A I D "
Mary Stuart, Queen of Scotland


" D O N 'T  W O R R Y  I F  Y O U
F A L L  F L A T  O N  Y O U R
F A C E ;  A T  L E A S T
Y O U ' R E  M O V I N G
F O R W A R D "
Anonymous


" N E V E R  A S K  W H E T H E R
Y O U  C A N  D O  S O M E T H I N G .
S A Y  I N S T E A D  T H A T
Y O U  A R E  D O I N G  I T .
T H E N  F A S T E N  Y O U R
S E A T B E L T "
Julie Cameron


" A D V E N T U R E S  D O N ' T
B E G I N  U N T I L  Y O U  G E T
I N T O  T H E  F O R E S T.
T H A T  F I R S T  S T E P  I S  A N
A C T  O F  F A I T H "
Mickey Hart


" W E  M U S T  A S S U M E
O U R  E X I S T E N C E  A S
B R O A D L Y  A S  W E  C A N ;
E V E R Y T H I N G ,  E V E N
T H E  U N H E A R D  O F ,
M U S T  B E  P O S S I B L E
I N  I T "
Rainer Maria Rilke


" I T  I S  N O T  B E C A U S E
T H I N G S  A R E  D I F F I C U L T
T H A T  W E  D O  N O T  D A R E ;
I T  I S  B E C A U S E  W E  D O
N O T  D A R E  T H A T  T H I N G S
A R E  D I F F I C U L T "
Seneca


" A L L  S U F F E R I N G  I S
A  R E S U L T  O F  T H E  M I N D
C L I N G I N G  T O  I T 'S
U N F O R N U N A T E
T H O U G H T S "
Buddha

When I begin a piece of art I experience tremendous anxiety. My intense desire to create meets my fear and I am sometimes paralysed for a period of time. In the past I could procrastinate for days or weeks before gathering my courage to move forward. I possess a set of highly developed, rational skills for delaying projects without naming my underlying fear. Luckily, I am able to move through the process more quickly now, but move through it I must. It has not gone away.

Most often I find that the anxiety surrounding beginning a process is far greater than the anxiety associated with the act in question. When I am experiencing a creative block I take a deep breath and ask myself what I know to do. There is always something. I find it helps to think about specific tasks that I can work on in the moment. That way I avoid feeling overwhelmed by an entire project.

Another place where I am apt to catch myself up is when I want to please someone else. Recently my son, Michael, asked me to make him a sport coat. I was pleased to be asked. However, we selected a fabric that is difficult to work with and a pattern that is complicated. My perfectionism has slowed my progress despite the fact that I am an excellent seamstress. I have agonized about doing it perfectly when good enough would be just fine. The result of my procrastination is that Michael must wait for his sport coat that should have been done weeks ago.

When tasks are difficult it is easy to become discouraged or lose focus. I have been taking a stability ball class for several months. When I started my balance was so poor that I had difficulty sitting on the ball and lifting one foot off the ground. Today I am kneeling on the ball while lifting weights. The class has presented a tremendous challenge for me. Sometimes I have been close to tears as I struggled with the exercises, but I have persisted in challenging myself.

Surely we must all step forward at times when we are frightened or unsure. Our task is to carry on in spite of our anxiety. Sometimes we must put aside unreasonable expectations for ourselves. Often we will need to learn new skills. Almost always stepping forward in life requires hard work, commitment and, as Gary often reminds me a sense of humour.