I will celebrate my 65th birthday in September. I honestly hadn’t thought too much about it until the forms started to arrive then I began to think, "This is serious!" Suddenly there are many things to attend to: seniors benefits, insurance, driver’s license. Of course the forms are just forms and all will be completed in due course, but they seem to mark the beginning of official "seniordom."

I remember asking my grandmother how old she was when I was about 6 and she was probably 60. "As old as the hills," she replied. "Exactly how old is that," I wanted to know. She told me I couldn’t imagine how old she was and of course, she was right. In my little girl mind she was neither old nor young. She was simply my beloved grandma.

I see now that age is quite a relative construct. Am I old? I don’t know. What does it mean to be old?

When I was a self-referential young adult I thought being old was more than 60 without much to offer, probably in poor health and not doing much besides gardening. Yet the models that surrounded me were not that. What was I thinking?

Now as I approach the birth date that in our culture denotes entry into old age, I wonder if I am old. I know that my soon-to-be-teenage granddaughter thinks I am old. She is mildly dismissive of me because I don’t (can’t) keep up with teen culture. I get that, but I don’t think it makes me old.

I have good relationships with family and friends. All of my relationships are more important as I age. My relationship with my husband Gary is most precious to me. In truth, our love, like fine wine, has improved with age.

I am generally in very good health despite my failing knees. Sometimes I feel old when my knees or back hurt, but I manage just fine, thank you very much. I can still be spotted on a dance floor and I can put in long days in my studio producing my best art so far.

My mind is good. I am still teaching and learning. Right now I am engaged in developing a new course about aging well. It is thrilling to work with Gary and our friend Wendy Huntington on this project. Our collaboration is almost seamless as we contribute our respective skills without competitiveness (a sign of maturity I think).

I am currently taking a course on meaning coaching which I expect will be a wonderful addition to my creativity coaching. In October I will travel to Ohio to study with Nancy Crow for three weeks. That experience will, no doubt, lead to new and exciting artwork.

From my vantage point aging is a pretty good deal. Although I don’t think of myself as old, I acknowledge that I am getting older. Maybe 65 really is the new 55. No matter, now that the paperwork is done I am looking forward to my birthday.

© C O P Y R I G H T   2 0 0 9.  Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.