exploring creativity - Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer


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Click on the following links to read Mary's exercises that led up to the exhibition. Click on the detailed image to see the full view.

Transulcence
Grandma Wear
Grandma Wear Too
Beautiful Flaws
My Ambivalence
Threads of Joy

Translucence
54”x18”x14”
mixed media

What is revealed, what is hidden, what is suggested?

How I view myself and how others see me became one of the predominant themes for my project. On the exterior of the garment I have suggested a public persona. However, the lining reveals those aspects of myself that I keep most private. There are also surprising elements barely hidden by the skirt that suggest there is more to me than meets the eye.

There is a strength and sophistication to the exterior of the garment. The metallic colours are bold and strong. The lines are graceful and there is liveliness to the stance. My external appearance and demeanor suggests competence coupled with softness.

The lining of the bustier is made of tiny bits of beautiful fabrics. Small squares of fabric were repeatedly stitched together then cut apart. The pieces don’t fit together neatly, but the colours and textures are rich and varied.

Inside the bustier are small packages that represent my gifts. They are visible through the sheer fabric bags. The gifts include strength of character along with my passions and talents.

There is much that I keep hidden. I am much better at helping others express their pain or joy than I am at revealing my own. Nevertheless, my life experiences, including those things that I keep most private, have shaped me. I am sheathed in my own memories and interpretations.

Beneath the sheer flowing skirt are mannequin legs that have been painted bronze. A snake is tattooed on the leg and another one encircles the ankle. There is a hint of the wildness contained within this dress, my dress.

Grandma Wear

7” x 10” x 10”
mixed media
Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer

These shoes were made as a part of a prescribed exercise about movement. At first I was disdainful of the high heels. They would constrain my movement. Surely they would not be comfortable. Yet as I began adding beaded embellishments I grew to like them. By the time I had added velvet lining to the insoles I could envision myself wearing them; perhaps even dancing in them!

Originally I planned to call them F.M. Shoes. However, my six year-old granddaughter said the shoes should be called Grandma Wear. She said I could have a whole store of beautiful things but I would need to have some for girls too.

Grandma Wear Too
33” x 21” x 5”
mixed media
Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer

A prescribed exercise about underwear led me to consider adornment and spectacle. In the process I had to acknowledge my own love of glamour and the outrageous. When I said I was going to make underwear my daughter-in-law said it had to be a thong. Well that would be outrageous and beading could certainly make it glamourous.

I confess I have never worn a thong and because I have no breasts I do not wear a bra. Nevertheless, I made these to fit me. I found this challenging. You won’t find someone who looks like me in the Victoria Secret catalogue. I am neither small nor young. Yet in spite of this, I might just surprise you.

Beautiful Flaws
fabric construction
“15 ¾” x “34” x “1 ½”
Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer

In a prescribed exercise we were supposed to create a self-portrait that focused on a perceived flaw. In my writing for this exercise I discovered that I am no longer concerned with my physical flaws. Being wrinkled and lumpy doesn’t matter much. Having no breasts is of minor importance. In fact, my physical imperfections seem to make me more interesting and unique. Similarly, my personality quirks and my various psychological flaws contribute to making me the inimitable individual that I have become. I love that I can finally see myself as interesting and beautiful because of my idiosyncrasies and flaws.

My Ambivalence
11” x 13” each
fabric collage
Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer

These images were created for a prescribed exercise about ambivalence. I used black and white to symbolize the extremes in my thinking. Sometimes I have an unrealistic and romantic notion about what I can accomplish while at other times I am paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. Red was added to three of the pieces to represent the passion and energy that emerges when I allow myself to think freely and positively.

Threads of Joy
8”x 8” x 8”
mixed media
Mary Sullivan Holdgrafer

In a prescribed exercise in which we were required to use threads to connect a favourite dress to aspects of our lives. I remembered a beautiful yellow wool dress that my mother made for me when I was in high school. The colour and texture were luxurious. The design was sophisticated. When I wore it I felt beautiful. I have come to realize how much I appreciate beauty, but it is not really beauty that brings me happiness. Rather, it is the abundance of my life. I have a wonderful husband and family, good friends, interesting work and good health. I am blessed.

This bowl is a metaphor for my life. It is rich and full. In fact, it is brimming over with good things. It can hardly contain the happiness I feel.